If you're afraid of seeming full of yourself...


Honestly, I think most people could stand to be MORE full of themselves.

Think about it. How many incredibly talented, gifted, fabulous souls do you know who are so afraid of seeming full of themselves that they fail to show up fully as themselves in the world?

That they fail to bring their talents and gifts and energy to those who need it...all because they are afraid of being too much?

I find this especially pervasive among women, who are socialized to make themselves small so that others are comfortable.


Here’s my truth. I would rather encounter someone overly confident than an amazingly gifted person who plays small ANY day.

Because here’s the thing. Those people who we’re quick to deride as “full of themselves” usually (whether we feel they deserve it or not) get what they want. They get noticed. They get recognized. They attract opportunities.

Meanwhile, your amazingly beautiful and talented self is on the sidelines bitching about “those people.”

The more I grow, the more I realize that the people I have encountered in the past who I judged (at the time) for being “full of themselves” were actually just playing a bigger game - and that triggered the fuck out of me. Instead of allowing them to be beautiful expanders for my own sense of what was possible for myself, however, I pushed them away.

Last year when a friend told me, “You just think you’re so great” in response to a totally mundane occurrence (to be). And honestly, it made me so sad.

Not because I thought she was right. Luckily, her projection of her own struggles with self-confidence onto me didn’t resonate at all with me, and I saw the situation for what it was - she was being triggered by my healthy confidence.

Let’s face it, I’m not perfect and definitely still struggle with my own confidence from time to time! But I choose to focus (as much as possible) on what I can (and do) bring to the world. And yes - I think that’s pretty damn great.

The reason this made me so sad was that she didn’t realize that SHE was great too.

NO, NO, NO! Let’s stop this NOW. I want to know - why are you so great?! Be proud of who you are and claim MORE in the process.

Caitlin Matanle